80/20 Percent Rule for Relationships


The 80/20 Percent Rule for Relationships says that in a healthy relationship you only get 80% of what you want from your relationship.  The other 20% you do without, because the rest is unattainable and can only be found in other partners.  For example, perhaps your significant other sucks at sharing her/his feelings or isn’t the neatest person, but it’s okay because the 80% you do get in other areas of your relationship is really good.  It is important to note that the rule does not exist to remind you of the things you can’t have but rather as an eye opener to help you realize that you really cannot have everything. Instead of focusing on the missing 20%, keep your eyes on the 80%.

If you are in a relationship long enough, you will come to understand that neither you or your partner is 100% perfect and can never fulfill your needs/wants 100%.  If you do an honest assessment of your relationship you will see that your partner has some shortcomings.

The 80/20 Percent Rule for Relationships is based on the notion that, in a good relationship you can only get 80 percent of what you need or want from your partner.  You may be wondering, why is this important to note?  I believe it is because a lot of times we feel like there are voids in our relationships that need to be filled and we are often times focused on the missing 20%.  If you focus on the 20% you will be forever going from one relationship to other.  You have to ask yourself is the missing 20% vital to your relationship and can you live without it, or else you will be forever thinking that the grass is greener on the other side.  In other words don’t leave your 80% to get 20%, because the person providing 20 might be missing the whole 80.  Instead try to work on what you already have in the first place.

I am not naive either, I understand that there are times when the relationship road gets rocky and the 20% stands out even more, and someone else who owns all the particular assets you are missing may be more attractive and appealing.  However, just like your partner isn’t providing you with a certain amount of ’perfection’ you need in a relationship to make it happy, some other babe/stud will be missing 20% too.

In your moments of despair, you can never see the “bigger picture”, that missing 20% is insignificant when compared to a majority lead of 80%.  The 80/20 percent relationship rule is there to guide you, but communication, commitment, persistence and lots of patience is actually the glue that you will need to keep your relationship going.


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