for·give·ness
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the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.“she is quick to ask forgiveness when she has overstepped the line”
Forgiveness is an act of love, mercy, and grace. Forgiveness is a decision to not hold something against another person, despite what they have done to you. It’s easier said than done to forgive someone that has wronged you. A critical tool for all types of relationships (Children, Friends, Spouse, etc.) is forgiveness because it frees you from bitterness. When you don’t forgive someone that means that you hold on to anger and resentment. It’s literally being in a prison of the past.
I know for me there have been times when I thought I truly had forgiven someone. However, I would feel stuck or couldn’t be myself around the person again. Unforgiveness can show it’s ugly head as: regret, sadness, hurt, fear, guilt, blame, anger, resentment, isolation, or sometimes even a desire for revenge. You know you haven’t forgiven someone when your still stuck in the past and can’t even be in the same room with her/him. It could be a simple statement the person makes that brings up old feelings of hurt that triggers rage on the inside of you.
So what does forgiveness look like? Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you condone their behavior! The act of forgiveness takes place in your own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person. The reality of true forgiveness lies in setting yourself free from the pain. It’s simply an act of releasing yourself from the negative energy that you’ve chosen to hold on to.
This is one area that I thought I mastered, but when the signs of unforgiveness rears it’s ugly head I know that I still have lots of work to do.
Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ. (Ephesians 4:31-32)
