Growing up, I’m sure we’ve all heard, “blood is thicker than water,” and “when all else fails you’ll always have your family”. I believe this instills the message that family ties aren’t supposed to be broken.
In my opinion, one of the reasons why relationships turn sour is because family members know too much of your business. There’s no one to blame but yourself for this. Stop complaining to your relatives about what’s going on in your love life. Your relationship and its workings are no one’s business. Do your best to minimize all outside commentary or as we would say in the islands, “MELEE!“.
EVERYONE IS NOT IN YOUR CORNER AND ARE NOT ROOTING FOR YOU! sOME PEOPLE WILL TRY TO convince you that small issues are big and that deal breakers are okay.
When people ask you how your significant other is or how your marriage is going, do not take this as the opportunity to air all your dirty laundry (she never cleans the house, he is a lazy good for nothing, etc.). Those questions are not an open door for a boyfriend-bashing session or a rant about your wife. If there are problems going on that you want honest opinions on, talk to someone whom you absolutely trust.
Your relatives should show basic respect for the person you are in a relationship with. If anyone tries to take a dig or hit below the belt, let them know right away that their behavior is unacceptable. Plain and simple, let the person making disrespectful comments know they’re being rude and you won’t entertain such childish behavior.
I’ve found that relatives try to create havoc in your relationship when they feel like they are being left out and like they are going to lose you. Give your significant other and relatives opportunities to spend time together. Men… don’t expect your mother to love your girlfriend and accept her with open arms when she doesn’t really know her.
Also, if you know your mother or spouse said something foul about the other person, stop telling them. Even more important maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationship if your significant other is talking foul about your mother. This is totally unacceptable!
I find that women like to go crying into the arms of their relatives for everything that goes wrong in their relationships. This creates a burden on your family because now they feel like they have have to choose sides. 9 out of 10 times they will chose the side of their relative. Then when things get better in the relationship and you get back together your family is still angry and upset over something you’ve already moved on from.
Another no no, is sharing too much on social media. There is such a thing as oversharing. Tweeting your frustrations like our No. 45 (lol) is a big no-no. Changing your status on Facebook from “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated” every other month is simply begging for trouble. I’ve seen some down right trifling behavior on facebook when relationships end. SIDE NOTE: It’s no one’s business who your “dating” and that information should not be on social media. You don’t want to be that chic or dude who has a new Boo every six months.
All relationships have there ups and downs, let me emphasize ALL (lol). There should be a line that neither person would dare cross when there is an argument or disagreement. If it’s common for your spouse to cause havoc that involves the whole neighborhood knowing you had a fall out, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship. Communication between couples is vital. When you confide in each other, there really is no need to confide in someone else.
