What is God’s Design for Family?

Family (from Latin: familia) is a group of people affiliated either by consanguinity (by recognized birth), affinity (by marriage or other relationship), or co-residence (as implied by the etymology of the English word “family”) or some combination of these. Members of the immediate family may include spouses, parents, brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters. ~Wikipedia

What is God’s design for family, and how can we have the relationships God meant us to have?

This is God’s divine order:

  1. God
  2. Marriage (1st Institution in the Bible)
  3. Family
  4. Church (ministry)
  5. Government

Before God ever created the church, He created the family. Before God ever created the family, He created the marriage. Before God created anything, He was!

Wives Submit???

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Col. 3:18).

The word submission often carries a nasty connotation, but submission does not mean “inferiority.” “Submit” is actually a military word. Means, “to arrange under rank.” A sergeant is not inferior to a captain. However, to have order in the military, authority must exist in the relationship or chaos will ensue. In the same way, when God made the husband and wife relationship, he made it with order so that it would function properly.

At the fall (When Adam & Eve sinned), marriage was broken. Submission in the context of a loving relationship was destroyed, and as a result we see brokenness in the majority of marriages. It’s sad but statistics show that over fifty percent of marriages end in divorce.  

What about the role of the husband?

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Col. 3:19).

The Bible tells husbands to love their wife as Christ loved the Church. We all know how great Christ love is, so much so that he laid down his life for us. A husband should be willing to die for his wife. I personally believe that the role of the husband is much harder. It is much easier to submit to someone than to give one’s life for that person. I know this is a hard pill to swallow for some men, but God is the creator of marriage (and all things) and that’s the way he designed it.

Eve was once Adam — his very flesh and bone, and for that reason, the Bible says, Adam called her woman, and, for that reason a man is to leave mother and father and be united to his wife to become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Don’t be mad at me for repeating what God said. LOL

God removed woman from Adam’s side and made Eve a separate being, though of Adam’s substance, designed to ultimately reunite to her source through Holy Matrimony (marriage).

Nothing but nothing should ever come between a husband and wife… nothing! 

Critics on the other side of this issue say married couples should make the children the center of the home, after all a marriage may not last, they say, but you’re a parent forever.” Blah, blah, blah… For me this is a lazy, ignorant attitude, that borders on illogical as well.  We are parents forever, and in the eyes of God based on the vows both parties made, YOU ARE A SPOUSE forever also. Children will grow up and move out, parents will get older and transition to be with the Lord, but we’re married until death do us part.

I believe that your spouse should be the focus above the kids, but not at the expense of the kids…. and if your family keeps their focus on God, that will never happen.

Married couples vocabulary should consist of “us,” “we” and “our.” I personally would never ask my spouse to choose between me and his mother/father, our children, or even his family. If you become consumed with worrying about being your spouse’s priority you’re going to make yourself miserable. Marriage isn’t about keeping score. I believe that God created the marriage relationship to be a blessing to everyone involved. My hearts desire is to have a husband that is my number two after God who will love me as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it.

“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined togetherlet not man put asunder.” -Matthew 19:6


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